i am just about three and a half hours away from waking up for a fun filled day of work…am i kicking my own ass for even considering picking up a 3:30am shift on my day off? 

you’re damn right i am!

i have to roll out of bed at two in the morning!!! let me repeat that a little louder in case you didn’t hear it or are still in disbelief…TWO IN THE MORNING!!! pick your ears, not your ass and you could’ve heard me the first time.

you know, its funny how therapeutic that writing can be…even when you SHOULD be in bed trying to squeak out as much rest as you can get because you are a dumb ass for picking up a shift that starts at 3:30am.

sometimes i have a lot on my mind and nothing to do with it, so i figure that ill sling my feelings and thoughts on to this canvas and see what sticks.

as the holiday season rolls to a sudden stop i find myself concerned about my future employment. i have been with my company for over six years, but with the economy being what it is i am worried about said company scaling back. retail is an industry that is on shaky ground because who wants to buy fancy tshirts and electronics when they can’t even feed their families or pay their mortgage?

i don’t admit it very often, but im scared.

rumors have it that things will get worse before they get better and the uncertainty of the future is starting to eat at me.

my ultimate dream is to get married (i wonder which last name we would use,)  settle down in a nice neighborhood and order myself up an adorable asian baby, but my dreams seem so far away…

the one thing that ive learned over the course of my young life is that “life isn’t easy, but anything worth having is never easy.”

im a fighter and i will beat whatever negative things that this world throws at me, but sometimes it seems as though the other side isn’t playing fair.

enough for now i think, i should try to shut my eyes a little bit…

*m*